The Hidden Connection Between Menopause and Divorce
When we think about the factors that can strain a marriage, the connection between menopause and divorce might not immediately come to mind. Yet this natural life transition, which affects millions of women across the UK, has a surprisingly significant impact on menopause and relationship dynamics. At RJS Family Law, we've seen firsthand how this often-overlooked connection plays out in our clients' lives.
Understanding this relationship isn't about placing blame or suggesting that menopause dooms marriages. Instead, it's about recognising the very real challenges that couples face during this time and approaching family law matters with the compassion and insight they deserve.
What is Menopausal Divorce?
A menopausal divorce occurs when a woman seeks divorce during her menopausal years, typically between the ages of 45 and 55. The menopause divorce rate statistics are quite striking: among opposite-sex couples in 2021, over 60% of divorces in the UK were initiated by women and the average age for women to divorce was 44.5 years, which directly coincides with perimenopause and menopause.
To put this in perspective, approximately 3 million women in the UK are experiencing menopause at any given time. That's a substantial portion of our population navigating not just the physical and emotional challenges of this transition, but also potentially facing relationship difficulties as well.
It's important to emphasise that menopause rarely acts as the sole catalyst for divorce. More often, it serves as a spotlight, illuminating existing cracks in a relationship that may have been developing for years. The intense physical, mental, and emotional symptoms can create a perfect storm that brings underlying issues to the surface.
Why do Perimenopause and Menopause Cause Marriage Problems?
Perimenopause and marriage problems often emerge because this phase represents one of the most transformative periods in a woman's life. Hormonal changes don't just affect the body; they also impact mood, cognitive function, self-perception, and overall well-being. Women going through this transition often experience:
Anxiety and mood swings that can feel overwhelming and unpredictable
Depression that may be entirely new or more severe than previously experienced
Loss of self-confidence as they navigate changes in their body and identity
Difficulty accepting bodily changes that can affect intimacy and self-image
Sleep disturbances that compound emotional and physical stress
Cognitive changes that might affect decision-making and communication
Research shows that while menopause symptoms vary widely, one in four women will experience severe, debilitating symptoms, and over 60% will experience symptoms significant enough to cause noticeable behaviour changes that can lead to a menopause relationship breakdown.
"Whilst the woman suffers from the physical and emotional symptoms of menopause, it can have a significant impact on those close family relationships”
Rachel McGrath, Family Solicitor, RJS Family Law Client
The Reality of Divorce Rates During Menopause
Recent data from the Office for National Statistics highlights a concerning trend in menopause-related divorces. In 2021, opposite-sex divorce rates initiated by women continued to rise. In fact, 62.6% of divorces in 2020 were petitioned by women, increasing by a further 0.7% in 2021.
What's perhaps more concerning is how the legal profession has historically approached these cases. Research shows that 81% of family lawyers struggle to understand or recognise the impact of menopause and perimenopause during divorce proceedings. This gap in understanding can have real consequences:
65% of legal professionals agreed that women might be disadvantaged in financial settlements due to insufficient recognition of how menopause affects their ability to work full-time or part-time.
60% felt it was unlikely that clients would openly discuss menopause's impact on their divorce with their lawyer.
Many women find themselves navigating both a major life transition and legal proceedings without adequate support for either.
“I have seen a rise in clients stating that the menopause is causing issues in their relationships and that is why they are commencing divorce proceedings”
Rachel McGrath, Family Solicitor, RJS Family Law Client
Understanding Divorce ‘Danger Zones’
Family relationship experts often refer to certain life stages as "divorce danger zones". These are periods when marriages face heightened stress and vulnerability. These typically include:
New parenthood with its sleep deprivation and role adjustments
Menopause with its physical and emotional upheaval
Empty nest syndrome when children leave home and couples must rediscover their relationship
Career transitions or retirement that shift family dynamics
Health crises that test a partnership's resilience
Menopause sits prominently among these challenges because it often coincides with other major life changes. A woman in her late 40s or early 50s might simultaneously be dealing with hormonal changes, ageing parents, teenage children, career pressures, and shifting relationship dynamics with her partner.
The key insight is that these "danger zones" rarely destroy healthy relationships outright. Instead, they act as stress tests, revealing whether a marriage has the communication skills, mutual support, and resilience needed to weather significant changes together.
"Menopause is a huge transition – physically, emotionally, and relationally. We often see clients who are juggling not just hormonal changes but also caring for elderly relatives, parenting teens, and managing career pressures. It’s no surprise relationships come under strain."
Rachel McGrath, Family Solicitor, RJS Family Law Client
How to Support Your Relationship During Menopause
While the challenges are real, many couples successfully navigate menopause together with the right approach and understanding. The key often lies in open communication and mutual support.
Many couples don't discuss the symptoms of menopause and the level of support that's required. This can be particularly challenging given that at this time of life, children have often left home, meaning couples may find themselves spending more time together than they have in years.
Here are some key ways to help your relationship thrive:
Talk about menopause and how it's affecting you both. Avoid dismissive language, this impacts the whole relationship.
Schedule regular check-ins to talk calmly, rather than having intense conversations in the heat of the moment.
Give each other space when needed.
Step away from arguments if emotions are running high, as there’s no benefit in ‘winning’ a fight.
Keep your sense of humour and be patient with each other.
Offer compliments and appreciation. Small gestures go a long way in boosting self-esteem.
Exercise together to improve mood and health.
Be gentle about intimacy. Focus on emotional closeness and rebuild physical connection gradually.
Navigating menopause together takes empathy, patience, and often professional guidance. But above all, it takes teamwork.
How RJS Family Law can Help During Menopause and Divorce
If you're navigating the challenges of menopause alongside relationship difficulties, you're not alone. The connection between hormonal changes and marital stress is real, and increasingly recognised by both medical and legal professionals.
At RJS Family Law, we understand that family law is about more than legal procedures. It’s about supporting people through some of life’s most personal and vulnerable moments. We take an empathetic, holistic approach, recognising the impact of major life transitions like menopause.
Whether you're considering your options, facing divorce, or need to protect your interests, we’re here to help. Every woman deserves legal support that acknowledges her full experience, including the unique pressures menopause can place on a relationship.
Contact the team at RJS Family Law today for compassionate, expert guidance, delivered in confidence and with care.
FAQs
1. It is normal to question your marriage during menopause?
Absolutely. Menopausal women often experience a reassessment of life’s priorities, triggered by mood swings, reduced intimacy, and physical changes. Although menopause doesn’t cause divorce directly, it often brings underlying issues into sharper focus.
2. What support is there for menopausal women going through divorce?
Support is available for both your health and legal needs. GPs, pharmacists and menopause specialists can help manage symptoms, while NHS talking therapies like CBT offer emotional support, often without a referral.
At RJS Family Law, we provide sensitive legal guidance that recognises the impact of menopause on finances, parenting and wellbeing, ensuring you’re fully supported throughout your divorce.
3. Can seeking treatment help save a marriage during menopause?
Yes. Addressing menopause symptoms through hormone replacement therapy (HRT), counselling, or lifestyle changes can make a significant difference in relationships. Many women find that managing symptoms like mood swings and low libido leads to better communication and a renewed sense of intimacy. Around 65 percent of women offered HRT report noticeable improvements.
4. What is the meaning of grey divorce?
Grey divorce refers to couples over the age of 50 choosing to end their marriages, often after decades together. Sometimes called “silver splitters,” these individuals face unique emotional and financial challenges when divorcing later in life. The trend is becoming increasingly common as societal attitudes shift and life expectancy rises.
5. How common is divorce during menopause?
Divorce during menopause is more frequent than many realise. In 2021, over 60 percent of divorces among opposite-sex couples in the UK were initiated by women, with the average age of female divorcees at 44.5. This aligns with the perimenopausal and menopausal years, suggesting that the transition can play a key role in relationship strain.